M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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