Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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