need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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