someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize