He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
COCAINE IS GR8
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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