I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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