ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
