So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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