best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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