how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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