left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
