I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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