I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
