guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
