There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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