This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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