We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize