he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
