i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
