I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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