I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
