I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
