Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
