ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize