you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
