Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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