I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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