To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
