i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
