That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize