Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize