i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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