I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
