Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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