He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
