I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
