while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
