I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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