you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
