im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
