i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
