sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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