oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
