you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I just shit out all my problems.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
