But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
