I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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