I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
