Life is so much better after having sex.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
