he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
