Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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