i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
