How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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