I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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