you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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