I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
