Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
