I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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