is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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