maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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