apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
